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December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas! Happy Christmas! Maligayang Pasko! Hyvaa Joulua!
On this Christmas Eve Wil and I want to wish each and every one of you a blessed and joyful time of celebrating the birth of the Savior, Jesus Christ. As Christians we all look to the events of the birth in Bethlehem and rejoice with the angels and shepherds on that first Christmas. But as individuals we each have our own memories of Christmases past; those holidays we have experienced from our early childhood right up to last Christmas. My Christmases as a child were full of wonder, excitement and anticipation. Memories of going to church on Christmas Eve, of children’s Sunday School programs, grade school programs and parties. Memories of putting up and decorating a tree, peeking into and poking at packages under that tree, and the thrill of Christmas morning and opening up those packages and, most of the time, finding things I wanted and enjoyed.
But for the most part, those memories left Jesus on the sidelines; maybe the ‘reason for the season’ but not the focus. Even after coming to personal faith in Jesus as my Savior at age 23, my focus was still of gifts, decorations and a nostalgia full of childhood pleasures evoked by the season. It took time to outgrow that self-centered focus. Getting married and having children of my own helped give me a new and more Christ-focused view of the Holiday. Being a giver gave me more pleasure than being a receiver of gifts. New memories and new traditions developed around celebrating Christ’s birth as a family. Being in the Philippines where Christ’s birth was still in focus within the culture was very helpful too. The Advent wreath with its candles and scripture readings became a treasured part of our family’s Christmas traditions.
Today, in looking back to those days I have a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart. The memories are sweet but made bitter in that that is all they will ever be –just memories. Half of this family is celebrating now in the presence of the Savior whose birthday we are remembering. The other half, Wil and I, are here remembering our past Christmases with joy and pain and trying to make new memories and traditions we can share together in years to come. These new Christmases will definitely have Jesus as their focus as he is our source of joy and hope, not just at Christmas, but every day.
This morning in today’s reading in Streams in the Desert, I came upon this beautiful poem by Frances Ridley Havergal entitled, The Bells Across the Snow. It expresses the mixed emotions we are feeling today as we celebrate Christmas this year but miss Karen and Ben so much. The second stanza helps put things in perspective.
O Christmas, merry Christmas!
Has it really come again,
With its memories and greetings,
With its joy and with its pain?
Minor chords are in the carol,
And a shadow in the light,
And a spray of cypress twining
With the holly wreath tonight.
And the hush is never broken
By laughter light and low,
As we listen in the starlight
To the "bells across the snow."
O Christmas, merry Christmas!
'Tis not so very long
Since other voices blended
With the carol and the song!
If we could but hear them singing
As they are singing now,
If we could but see the radiance
Of the crown on each dear brow;
There would be no cry to cover,
No hidden tear to flow,
As we listen in the starlight
To the "bells across the snow."
O Christmas, merry Christmas!
This never more can be;
We cannot bring again the days
Of our unshadowed glee.
But Christmas, happy Christmas,
Sweet herald of goodwill,
With holy songs of glory
Brings holy gladness still.
For peace and hope may brighten,
And patient love may glow,
As we listen in the starlight
To the "bells across the snow."
Posted by David at 12:19 PM
December 9, 2009
One year ago
December 9, 2009 One year ago today my dear Karen left for heaven. For me, and for Wil, it was a day of great grief. For Karen it was a day of relief, release and entrance into eternity and the presence of her Savior and Lord. After three and one half years of appointments with doctors and appointments for tests, chemo and radiation treatments, she had her final appointment –with the Great Physician –and she was instantly and permanently healed. Praise God! She and Ben were re-united.
A few days ago as I was dwelling on the approach of this day and feeling a resurgence of grief, God spoke to me as I was reading his Word and in a “still small voice” said, “Think not on what you have lost but on what Karen and Ben have gained.” That has helped me greatly. I realized that grief, which is a normal response to loss, can become a really selfish thing. I was focusing on what I lost and no longer have: her love, her presence, her joy and enthusiasm for life, her music and her encouragement. But if I take God’s advice, I am encouraged in the fact that my two loved ones are freed from their weak and diseased earthly bodies and are now clothed with their heavenly dwelling, so that what was mortal was swallowed up by life. (2 Cor. 5:4)
I can picture Karen playing a new golden flute in heaven’s orchestra producing new music with notes and tone not even possible here on earth –her heart full to overflowing with praise to her Lord that she now sees face to face.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Karen were on heaven’s welcoming committee. Her love and exuberance expressed in meeting long lost friends here on earth would be magnified many times over as she greets heaven’s newcomers. I look forward to that welcome myself in God’s good time.
Posted by David at 9:23 PM